Wednesday, 6 April 2011

...And then it was half way through another week.

It’s Wednesday. We are closer to the weekend than we were yesterday but not quite close enough. And already I have been a busy little bee. A slightly superstitious little bee.  But a bee all the same.
I’m sure if you are a bee, then a magpie probably isn’t your best friend. I know this sounds like the sort of thing a crazy cat lady might say (apologies to any crazy cat ladies) but I am being followed by magpies. It might be the same little cohort, but I can’t be sure. They’re all black and white. And they don’t appear to have any distinguishing marks.
But the strangest thing, stranger than admitting to be ‘followed’ by birds, is that rather lucky things have been happening. Not unlucky as per the normal silly superstitions. Nothing mega though, I haven’t won the euro millions. But if these little birds could sort that out then I would obviously be eternally grateful. Just little things.
Like seeing bollards in car parks BEFORE I hit them.
And finding £10 in the pocket of a jacket (I think you’ll agree that this is a very special moment!)
And ...the really odd thing, which is maybe related to the moon (now I sound really crazy) ... I actually wanted to exercise this week. Three times! I know! Madness, right? It was even in the outside. I ran in an environment devoid of automated climate systems, piped music, and unattractive sweaty men huffing and puffing on electronic machines next to you. I ran outside. With the dog. For half an hour.  Three times! I haven’t quite got over it myself, to be honest.
I obviously didn’t run for the whole 30 minutes, that’s going a bit far. But I did the whole walk, fast walk, jog, run, jog, fast walk, jog, run, jog, fast walk. Felt like a pro. And poor pooch was almost dead. I won’t take her again.
In my keenness to get fit and embrace the early morning sunshine and because I don’t own proper running shoes, I may have given myself shin splints. Excellent.
Maybe the magpies haven’t lost their unlucky touch after all.
I am lucky in other ways. I have spent two evenings in wonderful company (present time excluded, because eating risotto on your own isn’t that entertaining). I have had my CV spring cleaned by Mr Commonwealth  (just protecting your identity Sir)and then laughed at oh so many well dressed students queuing for entry to Tiger Tiger. I don’t claim to be a fashion guru, shoe habit taken out of consideration of course, but it’s not hard to spot a walking disaster. Of which there were many! Ladies, and gents if you are out there too, if you must insist on using fake tan – please take pity on us mere mortal pasties and avoid the streaks. At least then we can actually envy you and your beautiful tan like want us too!
A jolly good evening drinking a single coke, which is probably why I missed the bollard, and a cappuccino, the catalyst in the reaction between my brain and mouth which made it all work much faster. I’m sure Mr Commonwealth a) could hardly understand a word I was saying as I gabbled at the speed of sound and b) had absolutely no idea what I was chirping on about anyway, what with my talk of Manolo’s and Louboutin’s. Shame on me, and at my first business meeting!
Bloomin’ magpie. Oh well, it can only can better.
I was also lucky enough to be able to say goodbye to Miss Alice Chamberlain before she jets off to Greece on Saturday. Secretly I’m ignoring the fact she’s going somewhere hot. She’s actually flying out to Siberia to heard mountain goats. We, ( a certain Miss Oz, Miss Hendo, Miss Skoda, Miss Alice and Miss USA) spent the evening in well decorated flat consuming a disgusting amount of quavers (other cheese flavoured snacks are available), kettle chips (quite possible the guiltiest crisps to munch – you can feel the fat build up on those bits you try so hard to hide), cheese straws, pizza and oven chips with garlic salt. And a huge array of shop bought and home-made cake-like delicacies. Only the healthiest options of course. Miss Hendo did make a contribution of tomatoes and crudités, which were much appreciated. Thank you for the vegetables.
However, this small intake of vitamins did not prevent the feeling of over indulgence and pure unhealthiness. I tried to burn this feeling away on a cross trainer this morning. It was not to be.
And so, thank you Magpie’s for making me feel worse than terrible and keeping me in at home alone while the family wined and dined in the yacht club.

This bee takes back all that she said. Magpie’s are not lucky. But that doesn’t mean they’re not stalkers. Watch your backs.