Fact. Yesterday was Monday.
Fact. Tomorrow is Wednesday.
Fact. Today is between yesterday and tomorrow.
Fact. Today is Tuesday.
Yet somehow – at 7am this morning I truly believed it was Saturday morning. Hit the snooze button and rolled over.
Then – Poo. It’s 8am and I had half an hour to shower, wash my hair, paint the face, dress myself, eat something, knock back mug of coffee and get myself to work to be at my desk for 9am for a phone-call.
Did I make it? Of course not.
I was late.
Did I scrimp on morning activities to save some time? Definitely.
I flew in shower, flew out again. Please be aware of the lack of hair wash (an additional 10 minutes)and excuse my awful hair. Cue the hair tie and quick up do. Majority of mess is hidden.
Painted face? Yes, but trés simple make up. Five minutes. Puff of powder, a little mascara, splodge of blush and… done. Am I now looking sick and washed out? Yes.
Dressing myself? Poo. What to wear, what to wear, what to wear? (Realistically I should plan the night before to prevent these situations . I know lots of ladies who do this - so it isn’t that desperate!) I opted for the ‘fail-safe’ black- no colour co-ordination involved. Which shoes? Arrrrgh… No. No. No. No. … just choose any pair! Nearly walked out in odd shoes. Not because I’m going round the bend with my very premature mid-life crisis, but because I was doing the crazy, “…Hmm which shoe? I will wear one of each and decide…” thing that only women do and used up the 10 minutes I’d save by not washing my hair.(It could have been ‘Odd Tuesday’ as well as ‘Inside out Monday’ but I realised just at the last minute. Can you imagine the horror of walking round the office in odd shoes? You can’t pass that off as anything except a god awful fashion faux pas!)
Eat? Does yoghurt count as eating? There’s no chewing involved and no stodge to digest. Just dairy and no fuel. Coffee? No. Forgot the boil the kettle. So I left the house feeling no more awake than when I launched myself out of bed…
Can I just finish this week now before I make a huge mistake? Like forgetting to put on any clothes? Maybe I need a chaperone to ensure my safety?